The Longest Con: That Darlton Would Have Ever Let Me Form My Own Opinions About Lost Before Series End.

11 05 2010

As part of my interview with Dr. Tronchin on the Archaeology of Lost she mentioned Jeremy Bentham and his panopticon in relation to Jacob’s Lighthouse.  This got me thinking about the Locke vs. FLocke, Hurley vs. Miles and why on earth “Jacob” would be so cool with Jack destroying the Lighthouse surveillance system. 

Things I began to call into question?  Who really built the Lighthouse and used it for surveillance, is Hurley really psychic, and what was the purpose of Jack destroying the lighthouse? I don’t want to get to involved with a huge narrative here but it will be difficult since Lost is such a winding road of convolution.  I’ll try to just spell it out and I may resort of bullet points if that is okay with everyone. Okay… so, starting with my Hurley issues, here I go.  

No… wait.  I can’t start with my Hurley issues.  Ya know why?  Well, I was just informed that Darlton has confirmed that Hurley is, in fact, seeing ghosts.  That these spirits are not the agents of the MIB and that neither are the voices in the jungle.  So there goes a major cornerstone of my theory.  Guess I’ll just try to build my theory pyramid style then…  

Well crap…  I’m not even really in the mood anymore.  Darlton has let the wind out of my sails again…  why couldn’t they have just shut up for the entire last season?  Joss Whedon would have never made this mistake on Buffy… or Angel… or Firefly… or Dollhouse.  Grrrrrrr…  

So… I’ll be brief.  

It seems as though FLocke has been mirroring things that John Locke did in previous seasons.  He split up the group, he blew up the submarine, He killed a bunch of Boars… He walked around all manly and silent…  he squinted his eyes into the sun as he spoke making himself seem wise and believable?  What?  Yeah… I’m talking out my ass…  got a problem with that?  It’s been a rough day! 

oh crap… this is weak.  

What you are witnessing here is failure to write a cohesive blog.  I have been bested by the writers… the creators… the show runners of Lost. AGAIN!  I can’t even find the energy after painstakingly picking through dialogue from episodes where Hurley talked to ghosts, finding some really great stuff that points to someone luring Hurley to the island both the first time AND the second time.  All in hopes of getting him there, especially the second time, to become leader (#23) and lure the candidates to FLocke. 

I mean…  take Dave for example… you remember, Hurley’s imaginary or ghost friend from the mental hospital?   Here are things that Dave said when they were in the hospital: To a bunch of nutters playing basketball, “Dude, dude, give up the rock!” and to Hurley, “Dude, that’s celery. Celery is not a snack. Leonard’s got graham crackers, man. You should snag one. He won’t notice. What’s he going to do — call you a 23?” 

Those were some awesome clues…  islandy sounding things. See that #23 comment there?  Pretty brilliant Losting on my part to go way back to the “Dave” episode and point to Hurley becoming the one in charge, right? Perhaps these things  were  clues to that effect but then perhaps they got ditched when they decided to make Hurley a real psychic as a plot device… to use him as a means of exposition. UG!  What did all of my fiction writing professors tell me?  Show don’t tell?  Wow… I’m cranky.  

I was going to go through all of the things that different members of the Oceanic 6 saw and heard when they were off island and how they were, perhaps visions created by MIB drawing them back to the island to set his grand plan to kill Jacob and get off the island into motion. 

How would he do that though?  How would he throw himself, like a ventriloquist, off the island that way? Well… perhaps he used the Lighthouse to do it.  Maybe it wasn’t just a way to spy on the Candidates?  Maybe the MIB found a way to communicate through it.  Maybe MIB was even responsible for building it?  

Stay with me here…  

When Locke was off island after turning the donkey wheel, he used the alias Jeremy Bentham.  The real Jeremy Bentham was the mastermind behind the panopticon; a prison or other industrial type building designed to able whoever ran the facility to be able to anonymously observe the inhabitants of the building.  He designed his first, a prison in 1875.  Later panopticon became more of a metaphor used to describe technologies that made surveillance of society more transparent, undetectable. This Lighthouse, that looks like the Pharos of Alexandria, was indeed the ultimate surveillance tool.  

So then…  John Locke, who was killed by Ben while living under the Bentham alias, was stuck in a coffin and delivered to the island to become an instrument of MIB.  I’m convinced all this was a plot orchestrated by MIB, with help from Ben who thought he was working for Jacob (was he ever?) 

Just the use of the alias there feels like a clue… a clue that points to the man who now inhabits the body of John Locke as being the original island Jeremey Bentham.  That he perhaps, either built the Lighthouse or maybe just rigged it so he could manipulate those off island in a similar way that Jacob did.  But instead of traveling off island, he was throwing his voice, or visions at certain Candidates.  

With the Hurley info… him not being psychic…  I may have been able to spin a pretty tight theory that the MIB had created the Longest Con of all… that he had been controlling every thing since the Candidates first landed on the beach.  And perhaps he was… but I can’t really do much to try to prove that with Hurley being an actual psychic.  pfffffft. 

I know… all of this sounds so crazy… but you try and come up with something unique and different about this show under the pressure of revealing something before Darlton can beat you to it and dash your hopes of finally having a great theory… one that just might work out. 

Oh well… there is always Cabrera’s spaceship theory, right? 

Sorry that there aren’t any pictures in this one.  I’m too grumpy thanks to flappy lips Darlton to even want to sit at my computer any longer. 

I am still excited about tonight’s “Across the Sea” where supposedly we will be given lots of answers about Jacob, MIB and the island.  Unless they’re just going to hint at things and then Darlton will put up a podcast and EXPLAIN everything for us like we’re a bunch of 3-year-olds looking a a picture book.  

Yes… I’m an angry chick and I love it. Until next time I will leave you with one of  my favorite dudes:


Looking at the Visual Clues: Q&A with Dr. Francesca Tronchin on the Archaeology of Lost

10 05 2010

Hello there Lost fans! I’m super excited to bring you this Question and Answer session that I did with Francesca Tronchin, Doctor of Archaeology and general expert on most things rad and badass. 

When I read about the upcoming “Across the Sea” episode specifically that it was going to be an hour-long flashback that focused on the MIB and Jacob I started to think about where on the earth it might take place how this country or city may have informed their world view.  I thought about use of all the religious iconography on the show and that led me to wonder if Dr. Tronchin would have the time to answer some questions.  Lucky for me she is a HUGE Lost fan and agreed to my line of (often clueless) questioning. 

So, enough of my rambling… Here it is: 

My Crazy Lost Theory: What do Jake’s (I don’t like him and call him Jake now.) clothing choices say about his heritage? His sandals and simple cloth shirts that I assume he makes.

Dr. Tronchin:  I haven’t seen anything in his wardrobe that suggests a specific culture or region. Perhaps just a generic “homespun” look, a hearkening back to “simpler times”? 

 MCLT: I seem to recall a FB status last year where you were talking about Jake’s sandals being Greek or Roman?  Am I hallucinating (again)?

Dr. Tronchin:  That might have been about the statue’s sandals? Can’t remember exactly.

MCLT:   Speaking of… ‘Jake the weaver.’ Aside from being perhaps a metaphor, what does it say about a person who knows how to weave intricate textiles such as these? Does this give us any clues to who he is and where he’s from?

When, where and why did Jacob pick up weaving as a hobby?


Dr. Tronchin:  In Greek mythology there are a couple of famous weavers: Arachne and Penelope. Arachne was turned into a spider for getting “too big for her britches” and challenging Athena to a weaving contest (classic tale of hubris and divine retribution). Penelope is the model housewife, so to speak. She spent 20 years weaving, waiting for her husband Odysseus to come home. But she was tricky: she said she would pick a new husband from the many suitors courting her as soon as she finished weaving the burial shroud she was working on. But at night she would unravel all she had woven during the day.

MCLT: an interesting parallel could be drawn here between Jacob and Penelope. He has said that he is going to pick a replacement for himself out of a pool of “Candidates” that he plucks from around the world. He has been doing this for how long? Perhaps it is Jake who is weaving and unraveling… stalling, but for what?  Who knows? 

Dr. Tronchin:  In the Greco-Roman world, weaving was pretty much the purview of only women. So this is odd that Jacob would be so great at it. I can’t think of any cultures where weaving was the man’s job. (Fishing nets, made by crochet, are an exception.)  That is interesting about Jacob weaving & un-weaving to postpone his decision about the candidates.

MCLT: But of course he does finish the tapestry as we saw in the tunnels under the temple.  But Metaphorically it works and makes me wonder if there is someone special that Jake is waiting for. I’m wondering now, if Jake perhaps has a Penny or a Sun or a Claire? 

Dr. Tronchin:  Seems like most of the dudes on the show have some kind of female constant!

What is very cool about the thing J is weaving in the picture below is that it is a hybrid of Greek and Egyptian elements. The text is Greek, of course, with the Egyptian eye of Horus, etc. below. That mixture of Greek & Egyptian smacks of Alexandria, the great city in the Nile delta. Has anyone translated the Greek? theoi, or ‘gods’ is the only word that jumps out at me. But my Greek is way rusty right now. But even so, they used a xi for an epsilon…weird.

MCLT:  The did actually translate the texts on Lostpedia…  and here we have another Odysseus reference.  From the finished tapestry there are three sentences and they read as translated: “may the gods grant thee all that thy heart desires” & “may the gods grant thee happiness” are from The Odyssey and the last, according to Lostpedia: A third passage is at the bottom of the tapestry. The part that can be seen reads, …Σ ΜΟΝΟΙ ΤΟ ΤΟΥ ΠΟΛΕΜΟΥ ΤΕΛΟΣ ΕΟΡΑΚΑΣΙ (sic). In lower case, it should read …ς μόνοι τὸ τοῦ πολέμου τέλος ἑωράκασι (transcribed as “…s monoi to tou polemou telos eōrakasi”) which seems to be the following quote misattributed to Plato: “Only the dead have seen the end of war.” If so, the word missing could be ΘΑΝΟΝΤΕΣ or ΤΕΘΝΗΚΟΤΕΣ, in lower case, θανόντες (transcribed as thanontes) or τεθνηκότες (transcribed as tethnekotes), meaning “those who have died”. 

MCLT:  Why would a blonde haired, blue-eyed dude be so obsessed with the Egyptian culture? Is there any archaeological proof of Blondes in Egypt? When did Blondes start showing up in  Egypt.  

Dr. Tronchin:  I don’t know about blondes in Egypt. The only thing I can think of are the Celtic invasions into the western part of North Africa or the Gallic invasions in Asia Minor.

MCLT:  Some Lost fans have sighted that there may be a connections between the dog worshiping cult of the Canary Islands (home of confused Catholic Richard) and the Anubis of Egypt.  Are there any reliable academic sources that could confirm this connection?

Dr. Tronchin:  I know nothing of religious practices in the Canary Islands! But I would find it very difficult for there to be any actual connection, unless explained by science fiction!

MCLT:  If you could, please take a look at this blog I wrote about the island statues:

In your opinion, do you notices any differences that could point to there being more than one statue on the island? 

 Dr. Tronchin:  I think you found some very subtle differences! But I don’t know if I could say they indicate two different statues.

MCLT: Also, the feet:

Is this foot: 

The Foot Sayid discovered from Desmond's boat.


The same as this foot:

The foot under which Jake Lives.


The same as this foot?

Perhaps in the Altiverse, Jake is a merman and lives under this foot?


Dr. Tronchin:  OK, this is very weird. You’ve got there a left foot, a right foot, and another left foot!

The weirdest thing about the statue for me is how it splintered like balsa wood when the Black Rock hit it! Not that I think that has any special significance…

MCLT:  And what do you make of Jacob’s Amazing Technicolor Lighthouse from an archaeological standpoint?

Show Runner's Homage to Alexandria or Jeremy Bentham?


Dr. Tronchin:  It looks a helluva lot like the Pharos of Alexandria, one of the Seven Wonders of the [Ancient] World. Or at least what most people think it looked like–the actual lighthouse/pharos no longer exists. So there is another Alexandria connection. The city in the Hellenistic period came to be a great center of learning, thanks to the library there, etc. It continued to have this association with science and study into the Late Antique period.

Note from MCLT:  Dr. Tronchin had this to say following our interview:

I  forgot to mention the ‘panopticon’ to you. (Just Google it.) The correlation with Jacob’s (?) lighthouse will be obvious. Plus, the original panopticon was designed by…Jeremy Bentham!

Dr. Tronchin’s comment, after I perused the wiki page on Panopticon that is,  got me thinking about lots of things. So many things that I was forced to write an entire blog about it…  I will put it up sometime in the next 30 hours or so.  It will be called: “The Longest Con: Why Hurley is NOT psychic” or something of the like.  Look for it.  Now… back to the interview! 

MCLT:  Going back to the Egyptian stuff… how ‘bout that Smoke Monster?  We were given a hieroglyph, if you can even call it that, of the monster below one of the grates that it travels though 

Egyptian Smoke Monster? What?


but to me, the seated position of Anubis as well as the positioning of the monster reminded me of this:

or Mayan Vision Monster?


A tablet inscripted with the Mayan Vision Serpent. I’ve always thought that Jacob and The Smoke Monster/Man in Black were partly based on the Aztec Gods Quetzacoatl and Tezcatlipoca (smoking mirror).  But descriptions of the Mayan Vision serpent make it sound like it has the same ability for people to communicate with their ancestors though it which is kind of what the smoke monster does when it appears as people who have died on the island.  Thoughts?

Dr. Tronchin:  The connection with the Mayan image might be another bit of hybridity introduced by the writers. Maybe we are to think that both Mayans and Egyptians inhabited the Island, thanks to Jacob’s interventions? 🙂 Hey, they both built pyramids!

The pose of Anubis is weird in that image. Usually he is depicted as standing (with the jackal head on a man’s body) or lying down like a dog.

The Snake Monster image has no precedent in Egyptian iconography, as far as I know.

MCLT: There are many ways of dealing with dead bodies on the island. The Survivors of Oceanic Fligh 815 bury their dead, while the Others tend to burn their dead.  What ancient civilizations burned their dead and who continued to do so after Christianity took hold in parts of the world? Also, are there any cultures besides the Vikings that burned their dead and set them adrift like The Others did for Colleen’s funeral? 

Dr. Tronchin:  The Greeks (and the peoples of the Bronze Age Aegean before them) did some cremating from time to time; they were kind of inconsistent about it, but generally used cremation. The Romans simultaneously engaged in inhumation and cremation burials after the advent of Christianity. Cremation had been the standard, but inhumation was popular even among Pagans. It seems to have depended on individuals or families.

I can’t think of any other Viking-like funeral ships. Although there are a series of ships buried around the great pyramids of Giza, Egyptians weren’t pushed out onto flaming barges or anything.

MCLT: Speaking of the dead.  It seems that the Others are very concerned with making sure they get all their dead.  We’ve seen them did up bodies and drag them away (perhaps to perform more funerals like Colleen’s) and then we saw (inside Jake’s Chamber) Ilana take Jake’s ashes from the fire pit.  Thoughts?

Dr. Tronchin:  This is a HUGE thing in classical cultures, especially Greek. It’s all over Homer’s epics. There are entire (modern) books written on the subject of reclaiming the dead, bringing bodies off battlefields, spirits wandering around unhappy because their bodies aren’t where they are supposed to be, etc. Bodies/cremated remains have to be put in a cemetery or some other space where the family members can come and mourn them, remember them, make visits on special anniversaries. Even though Greek and Roman concepts of what the afterlife really looked like are rather murky, one thing is clear: you just don’t leave bodies unburied.

MSCL: Do you remember Last of the Mohicans?  “They stay as they lay!” (That just popped into my head and has nothing much to do with the conversation here… that movie has just been inappropriately invading my rational thoughts this week) 

Moving on!  We have also seen the Others use black ash as protection from the smoke monster on a few occasions.  Are there any cultures who use the ash or even the ashes of the dead as protection? 

Dr. Tronchin:  Ash Wednesday, the Catholic thing? I know nothing about it, really. Just the only thing that came to mind.

MCLT: Palm sunday encompasses placing ashes on the foreheads of followers as a sign of repentance. The ashes used are gathered after the Palm Crosses from the previous year’s Palm Sunday are burned. As far as Ashes as protection, apparently the ashes of a Vampire act as sort of a morning after pill if you’ve been bitten by a Vampire.  (You drink the ashes to prevent turning into a Vampire.)  I bring this up only because this season they introduced the idea that the island is sitting on a Hellmouth and for anyone familiar with Buffy… well… There you go. 

MCLT: And lastly, a big religious question: I jokingly mentioned “Jacob’s Amazing Technicolor  Lighthouse and I was wondering what similarities can be drawn between the stories Joseph and his father Jacob from the Hebrew Bible to Lost’s Jacob and the Man in Black?  Could Joseph’s time in Egypt be an explanation for all of the Egyptian hieroglyphs and the statue(s) on the island?

Dr. Tronchin:  I’ve got no idea! Old Testament stuff really isn’t my gig. Now ask me something about the Aeneid, and I might have something intelligent to say 🙂

I had come to assume over the course of the past few episodes that the Egyptians (or “Egyptians”) who were on the Island got there because of Jacob, that he somehow pulled them out of the Mediterranean and into the South Pacific. Maybe because 4000 years ago they were the most advanced culture on earth and he wanted to see how they would fare?

MCLT:  And this concludes our Q&A with Dr. Tronchin.  It will be interesting to see what happens this week on Lost and find out where MIB and Jacob really came from and if it is indeed Alexandria.  Fingers crossed.  And thanks again to Dr. Tronchin for lending her valuable time to aid in My Crazy Lost Theories.

Damon & Carlton, I’m not stupid so stop talking down to me… Actually, just stop talking at all!

5 05 2010

Okay… so this blog is going to be light on the theories and heavy on the annoyed rants. And I’d like to preface what I’m about to write with:  I really did love last night’s episode.  I like what is happening on the show but I don’t like the why’s that Team Darlton are spewing.  But I digress… 

So, last night we got to experience the death of some beloved characters and my favorite Old Spice Commercial Star said his last one-liner. Some were redeemed, some were just killed (Chip Lowell* aka dude with Machine Gun who also knew a few things about science-y stuff.  I was sad when you died even if the rest of the audience didn’t give a crap! Long Live CHIP!)

They were all casualties of FLocke’s “Long con” and more-so, I like to think that they’d each fullfilled their destiny. You know, cause when the island is done with you… it’s DONE with you. But no. That is not why these characters died. Why did they die? Let Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse tell you… (from THIS interview)…
Cuse: “There is no ambiguity. He is evil and he has to be stopped.” … “There will be very little debate at the end of this episode that [Fake Locke] is evil and bad and has to be stopped. The main narrative reason for him killing our main characters is to establish how much of a bad guy he is and to clearly identify him as the antagonist rolling into the end of the series.”

Lindelof: “In many ways, the season was structured as a long con on behalf of the Man In Black. Once we revealed that Locke was the Monster, we knew the audience would immediately mistrust him, and we would have to spend at least a dozen episodes of Locke trying to convince the audience that he did not have malevolent intention, that all he wanted to do was get off The Island. But everything he was doing was leading up to one moment, which was [trying to] get the candidates in one fell swoop. He knew if he killed just one of them, everyone would know what he was up to.’”

OMGosh… where to even start.  First, I’d just like to say that ever since we met The Man in Black I have given him the benefit of the doubt, going so far to wonder if he and Jacob had some point switched bodies and that Jacob was trapped in the MIB via my Tezcatlipoca theory. So finding out what I think we all suspected, that MIB was in fact the smoke monster, did little to change our opinion of who or what he was at his core. And I don’t think that I’m in the minority when I say that possibly everything that came out of FLocke’s mouth this season was not to be believed. All of this makes me feel like Darlon thinks I’m an idiot who needs to be beat over the head with stuff so I’ll “get it.”  Oh well… What happened, happened…  right? 

And speaking about what happened, specifically on this blog and in the comments of other’s blogs, I know there are people who find me INSANE to think that the MIB is a character that I have felt sympathy for.  But hear me out; What is Lost but a show that introduced us to characters who have dozens of layers.  Complicated people who are neither good nor evil, who take the punches that life throws them and make their decisions the best that they can. For 5.75 seasons we’ve seen flashback after flashback then flashforward after flashforward then flashsideways after flashsideways about all the reasons that our Lostaways are the way they are.  The good or shitty things that shaped their world views and informed their actions. And then for Darlton to decide in what feels like the 11th hour that MIB is only one shade, one big bad evil mess of rancid smelling smoke?  Wow… what a let down.  I can only hope that in next week’s episode, “Across the Sea,” that we get to see the real stuff, the heartache and confusion that this man is made of and it isn’t one big love letter to Jacob and how MIB screwed him throughout their lives because he is a bad bad man. Pffffft. 

Then there was this comment about Sayid: 

Lindelof explains: “Sayid’s entire season-long arc has basically been, if you tell him that he is evil, you can convince him he is evil. But if you tell him he is good, maybe you can convince him he is good. We basically decided that in a moment of pure instinct, if he did something, if he sacrificed his own life in favor of saving the other people’s lives, that would convey to the audience, ‘This guy was actually a good guy.’”

Dude… do you even watch your own show?  From the beginning of the series Sayid has known two things about himself; that he had done horrible, reprehensible things AND that he was good a good man at heart. Here was a man who had often been forced into making impossible choices and carry out heinous acts, usually in order to save someone or spare someone from pain. Remember Sayid as an adorable child in Tikrit when he stepped up a killed a chicken for his older brother who couldn’t do it himself when asked by his father?

This kid doesn't hate chickens!


You may want to call him a chicken hating killer but IMO he was trying to save his brother from humiliation at the hands of their father, who found out anyway that Sayid had done the killing.  Then, in adulthood, he only became a torturer after seeing a video of his home villiage attacked with nerve gas.  Not sure of his motivations after that during the remainder of his stint in the Iraqi Republic Guard but men are asked to do the unimaginable during war.  It does not mean they are evil.  They are serving their country and even though I am a peace loving hippie, I believe that he did his duty.  And then we saw that from the time he ran into Nadia he struggled to get on a better path. 

Throughout the show, the writers were constantly throwing Sayid into situations where he had these really heavy moral decisions to make.  Out of every person on the island, I believe his path was the hardest and it is so unfair that in the final season they turn him into a zombie, a pawn of evil (whose light we could still see occasionally glint from his dark vacant gaze) and then verbally dismiss him after the fact as a person who is either good or bad based on what he is told he is.  I call bullshit.  I say that despite the writers intentions about Sayid’s heroic actions last night, Sayid was doing what Sayid had always done… put everyone else’s needs ahead of his and taking one for the team because at heart… Sayid is and always was, a good man. period. 

So far as Sun and Jin…  I don’t understand why people are so shocked that they didn’t discuss their kid when facing certain death. It’s been well established that Sun is selfish and that they always put each other over every one else. I mean, she left her kid with her mother to go back to death island! Come on people!  Get with the program. I do think it was a very sweet ending for them.  The island was done with them… they had served their purpose… that is what I am telling myself and not all this hoo haw about them dying to prove that FLocke is evil.  Yeah… we know… he’s EVIL.  Whatever.  Daniel Dae Kim has never looked so sexy so it was a nice teary thumbs up for me.  

But back to Darlton… I understand the necessity of killing off beloved characters, of turning people evil, etc…  but I would appreciate it if the reasons you were doing so was because that is what the story dictated for the sake of the story and NOT the audience.  So we’ve been chatting, tweeting, blogging, commenting, watercoolering, texting and Lostpediaing our opinions about the MIB… so what?  You don’t see JK Rowling making decisions based on what she feels her readers aren’t following or understanding in the story.  She makes her decisions based on what her heart and mind tell her about her story and characters. Take a lesson from her… stop reading the message boards and rewatch your own show to remember what this show is; a story about people, their complexities, the moral dilemma’s that they face and how people can rise through adversity and surprise us or sink and disappoint us. (I realize this plea is too late but I just needed to say it…  if only I’d seen all this Season 6 silliness coming.) 

But again, I digress…  Yes Darlton, it was you who set us up from the beginning to believe it was a story about good vs. evil via John Locke’s Backgammon speech but then it was you again who proved over and over again that the show was so much more than that…  Lost became a painter’s palate of various shades of grey that bled and transformed into every other color imaginable.  Nothing was black and white…  and now, here we are, you want us to believe that MIB is Lord Voldemort and that is that.  Again… Pffffft!  Again, you may be able to redeem yourselves with “Across The Sea” so there is hope…  but at this point it is a dim gray, barely visible slice hope for me. 

Devil in a Black Dress...


So now, please remember, it wasn’t the episode I didn’t like, it was the asinine comments made by the show runners that made my blood start to percolate.  It was a great hour full of amazing moments. The Kwons death, Hurley bursting into tears, Lapidus kicking down a bear cage gate, Kate getting shot (what?)…  but the Altiverse story did however leave me flat.  Things had been cookin’ over there for a while and now it’s all slow moving and WTF?  Jack is mucking around at a dentist’s office?  Bernard is acting like the dude with the bird hat in Labyrinth, finding out Locke TBI’d his beloved father in a plane crash and was letting guilt keep him in his chair?  Jack being hyper fix it guy… again? I need to rethink all my Altiverse theories over the next couple weeks.  

Oh… this is driving me crazy!  I have a few more shots to fire at Darlton but I cannot remember them! I guess I’ll just finish with a few pleas: 

Please don’t have stripped Kate from Candidate status in order to keep her around as Daphne for Fred the Final Candidate who may just turn out to be Jack. I’m hoping that Claire kills her but if she gets stayed alive for Jack I’ll stab myself in the eyes with a rusty old spoon. 

Please explain why Jacob is such a prick next week. Tell where and why he got the god complex. 

Please  don’t make the final candidate one of the children.  Pretty Please with sugar on it?  

"Flower of Wisdom" the Once and Future Queen of Doom Island? NOOOOO!


Otherwise, I’m ready to buckle up and get ready for the ride where I’m anticipating a blood bath where everybody dies. And what is more fun than that?  Next Monday Watch this space! I’ll be unveiling my Q and A with Dr. Francesca Tronchin, professor of Archaeology. I approached her about an interview when I first found out about a Jacob/MIB-centric episode and lucky me, she accepted.  Now, I think you all should do a little homework this week as we approach this “Across the Sea” episode.  The keyword is: Alexandria. 

Until next time: I’ve seen Xanadu about three times…  and I STILL have no idea what it’s about.

* If you don’t know who Chip Lowell is…  look him up for goodness sake!  This is TV 101!

Pre-Endgame Musings: Lost as Fantasy Island meets The Dark Crystal.

20 04 2010

What might happen tonight in Jack’s episode “The Last Recruit?” Who knows after all the twists and turns of last week’s episode? But, after last week, I had a few ideas about what is going on with these deja vu moments that are actually akin to the result of the brown acid that Pigpen warned everyone about at Woodstock. Have I lost you yet?

So, my friend Jordon and I were talking about why Des would run over Locke… I did consider that maybe Des remember that FLocke had tried to kill him by tossing him down a well, (How very Alice in Wonderland of you FLock!) but I was more inclined to believe that he thought Locke needed to have a near-death experience so he’d have that acid trip-like, Islandverse bleed-through moment. But why are the causes of the bleed-throughs so different? And what it is that will make Locke bleed-through?

Love seemed to be the common denominator for everyone else so far. It seemed to be what the Lostaways were missing in their comfy but empty Altiverse lives. That big, romantic love thing. But what of Locke? He has a good job and is getting hitched. What will bring his bleed through?

Then I remembered what I’ve been saying about Locke since The Substitute: how can he be happy giving up what he wanted most? And now with Locke heading to the hospital, probably where Jack works, it appears he may get his legs back if Jack (or someone) can fix him. This leads me to believe that it isn’t just LOVE that causes bleed-throughs but remembering whatever they got on the island that they were missing in their lives before they crashed. But what would that be for each of the Candidates?
Jack ~ stepping aside and giving up control.
Sawyer ~ (Not Juliet) but finding Anthony Cooper (Locke’s dad, who may just show up at the hospital!)
Kate ~ ??? Helping Claire? Aaron? Who knows.
Locke ~ His legs back.
Hurley ~ A woman to SEE him romantically.
The Kwans ~ Freedom from Sun’s Dad.
Sayid ~ To be the good man he knows he can be once and for all time.

It could also just be the biggest, most life changing moments for the Losties or perhaps something that caused them to experience a lot of adrenaline, like say, a fight of flight moment. I am sort of refusing to believe that it’s going to be love for all of them. I saw a clip from The Recruit where Sun remembers Locke. Perhaps she is remembering the fact that FLocke currently has the name she loves and is keeping them apart? Perhaps that is what will trigger to to remember life on the island as well and not just Locke the man?

Fantasy Island? Jacob = Mr. Roarke?

Wait a second! Jake didn't give the survivors of Oceanic 815 a welcome like this. What a tightwad!

I also wanted to put this out there… just in a general sense… that each of the Lostaways got what they wanted after coming to the island. And just like on Fantasy island, the things they wanted didn’t turn out like they wanted. For some these were old wishes, from childhood… but for some it seemed to be their last intention when they got on the plane that they were gifted.
Jack: To not always be the one who was to blame (childhood)
Kate: To help her mother. (and validation that what she did was right.)
Hurley: To be seen by a Woman or anyone really (childhood)
Sawyer: Revenge against Anthony Cooper (childhood)
Locke: To Walk… to be vital again.
Sayid: To be a good man
Jin: Sun
Sun: To leave Jin (and be free of her father)
Claire: To give up her baby.
Charlie: To be profoundly important. Not just vapidly popular.
Michael: Wanted to be close to his son.

But look what happened for some of them… Sun ended up being separated from Jin for 3+ years and is now working her way back to him. Kate tried to help another mother on the island and again is being punished for it. Claire wanted to give her baby up for adoption when she got on the plane, when she disappeared Kate took it and now she is mad. Hurley was SEEN by Libby and is now stepping up to be seen by everyone. It is hard for him but good. Sawyer was able to kill Cooper on the island but he found out that it was a very unsettling, upsetting experience.

From looking at these examples I have concluded that the big tests for THE CANDIDATES is being given what they wanted and how they deal with the consequences of the experience. So far, Hurley and Jack are doing pretty good… settling into their new roles and are pretty well adjusted thus far. Claire, well… she’s a mess, Kate? Also a mess. Sawyer did pretty well… he processed the experience and went on to fall in love now that he was no longer blinded by the sole purpose of killing the man who ruined his life.

Lastly… I really enjoy the theory of my friend Jordon… who thinks that ultimately, the two timelines are going to collide by some sort of semi-cataclysmic event and that will result in the two timelines spawning a third. I like to look at it as the way the the Mythics and the Skeksis came together to form whole beings in the movie The Dark Crystal. The Dark island Lostaways melding into the Light Altiverse LAaways and forming beings, if not already, close to enlightened. Wouldn’t THAT be grand. That way we wouldn’t have to let go of all that was learned by the Lostaways on the island and we’d still get some of the better adjusted attributes from the Altiverse timeline.

When single shines the triple sun,
What was sundered and undone
Shall be whole, the two made one,
By Gelfling hand, or else by none.

So, I guess that would make Des the Gelfling? 

Looking SO forward to tonight I can’t STAND IT!!!

Lost… It’s a Jim Henson world (or a Beatles’ Song?)

7 04 2010

This week, on Lost: “Two players. Two sides. One is light … one is dark.” Yeah, yeah… we know Locke.  But who’da thunk that these two would  end up not only on opposite sides but trekking through the jungle on a moonlit night under orders from opposing sides to do… what exactly?  But more about that later…  

In seasons previous, this was the dream team you'd have wanted to save you... now? I'm not so sure. (I couldn't find the screencap I wanted so I settled on this sweaty S4 Freighter shot.)


First thoughts about this episode (beyond above sweaty ones)?  Honestly I thought, “If this show ends in a big chorus of “All You Need is Love” I’m going to hurt someone.”  That said, last night’s episode “Happily Ever After” was true to it’s name in that after weeks of pretty dark story lines, the notion that at least some of our Lostaways might be sailing off into the sunset with the one that they love come series end was brought back to life. Or was it?

Might it just have been an allegory about how in our modern life, it is easy to forget what is truly important. For many Lostaways, the island has made them remember that what is important is love and human relationships and that somehow in the ‘real world’ they let that fall away as the trappings of modern life enveloped them and distracted them with petty worries about money, power and of course unresolved issues with their fathers. 

For weeks I’ve been reading a lot of an theories that the Alt World is a gentler place where the Lostaways are pretty happy and satisfied, where their stories get wrapped up nicely with a ribbon and a bow. Many have sighted John Locke’s seemingly good ending as proof of this but I begged to differ.  I thought Locke seemed resigned to let go of his big dreams.  He wanted to walk and be vital once again…  instead he ‘cried uncle’ because, well…  Rose had terminal cancer and her pep talk made giving up seem very appealing…  But last night it was made clear by these sort of bleed through experiences that our Sideways Lost boys were having, that they are mostly living Sideways lives devoid of greater meaning. They have freedom and riches but these are lives lived without ever really knowing the delivering grace of true love.  

Wow! Did I really just write that last love-centric paragraph?  Yes… yes I did.  Kinda gross, right? But again, last night the writers beat us over the head with the idea they wanted to get across… that love is where it’s at, dig? A very Age of Aquarius message but also confusing in light of last week’s Kwon-centric episode that found Island Jin in the psychedelic brainwashing room 23 and told the Alt World story that true love would be punished or at the very least, tested beyond reason.

These parallel story lines; Island time vs Alt World time, seem to be acting differently each episode, don’t they?   The Package saw a pretty direct connection between the timelines with mirrored situations: Jin held captive, Sun unable to speak English, the two getting separated and trying to reunite, etc.  While this week we saw the relationship between timelines being played out in a different way.  All of the action happening in Alt world didn’t mirror what was going on in Island World during the episode but reflected what happened on the island in previous seasons: Charlie falling in love with Claire, Daniel feeling the love for Charlotte and Desmond searching for Penny. Honestly though, I don’t really know that that means in a theoretical nature, I just find it interesting how the writers are playing with the Sideways Flashes in a less consistent manner than we’ve seen throughout the series.  

Theory wise, I found the scales interesting in this episode.  I found myself thinking of the scale as less who was winning in the race of good an evil but which timeline was heavier, more dense… which one had a better chance of survival. I really do believe that we are going to see the Alt World just shatter sometime in the near future.  With all the glowing holes of love that were punched through the “thinner, more porous region of space time” (that is a quote from last week’s Fringe, an episode where Walter named his Alt Universe self, “Walternate.)  The Sideways world just may be teetering on the brink of disaster. Perhaps like Island Daniel dropped an atomic bomb on the island, his Sideways self will drop a Love Bomb on Alt World and burn that mother down. 

On Fringe, Nina (an enigmatic Eloise type character) uses NYC snow globes to demonstrate what happens when two Universes collide: One is destroyed.


And Speaking of Daniel’s enigmatic mother…  what is Eloise Hawking/Widmore’s deal.  I always thought it was Des who was able to straddle the timelines, one Des, two dimensions…  but we saw last night that there are two Desmonds just like the rest of the Losties. But Eloise…  she is another matter.  Why does she know so freaking much?  Who is she? Part of me wonders if she is the one who straddles both timelines?  She tells Desmond, “Someone has affected the way you see things.  It is, in fact, a violation.” This to me is indicative of her awareness of the larger picture, the two timelines. Perhaps when the bomb went off… she didn’t make it to the temple and she was killed when the bomb exploded and now her consciousness is in Sideways land.  Might this be why she doesn’t want Sideways land compromised because then she will cease to be at all?

Maybe she is the reason the two worlds exist in the first place? Did she kill Daniel and then help Jack explode the jughead because she knew that it would create this other timeline where she would be able to have her son? Is she now willing to do anything to keep that timeline in tact?  She has always been manipulative, trying to keep Desmond away from Penny so he would follow his Island Destiny… but in Alt World she is keeping him away from Penny to keep him away from the island. After all, she did say, “What Happened, Happened.” Indicating she has let the past go and is satisfied, perhaps happy with where she is now; Matriarch surrounded by family.  For her, she saw what happened playing the high stakes game for love and family on the island and is just happy with peace and calm? 

The conversations between Eloise and Desmond reminded me of Labyrinth last night…  As if Eloise created this whole world for Desmond and rearranged time for him so he would be successful, happy and get what he (supposedly) wanted most in the world, the approval of Widmore. It felt just like Jareth the Goblin King who created a whole world for Sarah and rearrange time for her just so she would have what she wanted (supposedly) most in the world, to be free of her infant step brother.

"I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for you!" "Turn back, Sarah. Turn back before it's too late."


And Eloise, just as Jareth with Sarah, was trying to talk Desmond out of looking for Penny.  Anyone else think that George the Chauffeur (Island Universe’s George Minkowski the Freighter Guy) looks a little like a young Hoggle? 

Fisher Stevens as George.




And both are used in their respective stories to distract and mislead the characters who are both looking for something very important. Both seem to want to befriend and protect their charge but both are also jealous and dissatisfied with their station in life. And… that’s all I’ve got on that topic. 

But hey Lost… way to punch the more holes in my flimsily theory about Jack’s Baby Mama. Beat into our heads last night was the blue blue eyes of penny (of course making us think of Jack’s son’s blue blue eyes) and then setting it up so Penny was the one Jogging in the Sideways stadium bringing to mind Des and Jack’s first meeting in the Stadium.  In my mind I could imagine who there might have been a Sideways time that Jack and Penny used to pound those Sideways Stadium Steps together? So, okay… I buy it alright… I’m letting go of yet another theory…  Cassidy won’t be revealed as David’s mother because of the whole Piano talent that seems to run through Widmore’s blood line and the whole blue blue pools of blue eyes. Sigh.  

Lastly… how bout that meeting in the jungle last night between Prozac Sayid and Zoloft Des?  The Pawns ~ or Perhaps Knaves of Dark and Light brought together for what purpose?  I supposed only Island Time will tell.

There are many more questions that this episode brought up but I picked my favorite bits and went with those…  I may blog more on the other interesting tidbits from this episode a bit later…  

Until next time…

Yay Chip!  
You made it through another episode without dying!  

Jacob/Smoke Monster connection

1 04 2010

It has been talked about on the web that Jacob and the MIB could be the same person. This was even talked about after we’d seen the two together on the beach. I’m not sure if I buy that theory. If you’ve ever read this blog before, you know I’m more partial to my own theory that Jacob conned the MIB to take his place as the Smoke Monster. In this Freaky Friday Theory of mine I assert that Jacob and MIB must have actually switch bodies at one point.  I’m not so sure I go THAT far with all the detail I put into that theory analysis, but I do still believe that MIB used to be an ordinary dude until Jake tricked him into taking his place as the island watchdog, Smokey.  

As part of the Same Person theory that I’ve read about,  which from now on I will be referring to as: “The Man in Jacob Theory,” it was pointed out that there is a similarity between Jake and MIB. The sounds they make.

Please watch the first 22 seconds of this video:

Now watch this video (and please ignore the comment about the fart at the end!):

Doesn’t the tikitytackity sound of Jake’s weaving sound an awful lot like the tickitytackity of the Smoke Monster? But why? Why do they sound the same? I suppose at this point, with this footage, one could conclude that they are the same. One might also conclude that the Smoke Costume the MIB was forced to wear came with the sound effects. It might also be concluded that both Jake AND MIB can turn into black smoke… but I’m not so sure of that one…

But what does this MEAN?!

Also…  if the original premise brought up in this post is proven to be fact that could only mean one thing:  


Yes, I know… more Buffy.  

Looney Lost Tunes: A Longwinded & Perhaps Preposterous Explanation of David’s Mother.

28 03 2010

Yes, it happened again.  I was merely writing a little blog post about Lost’s Jacob and MIB vs. Looney Tunes’ Ralph and Sam when I was hit with coincidence after coincidence over and over again.  Or are they coincidences? 

I ask that you please bear with me while I wind this big train down the line to its tasty destination. There are a few tangents but I assure you, my final conclusion is pretty cool and very flipfloppy.

Conveniently, for my purposes here anyway, in the Lost episode, “Every Man for Himself,” Jack was being held captive by the others and during his capture he is kept in a cell in the Aquarium.  At one point he complains about the cartoons being played on a television monitor in his cell.  These cartoons are Merrie Melodies which are basically interchangeable with Looney Tunes, both being in the Warner Brothers Cartoon Division and starring many of the same characters. This Lost episode is #53 in the series curiously enough, The Ralph and Sam cartoon from my last post was first aired in 1953. 

The particular cartoon that Jack is being shown in episode #53 is called “A Corny Concerto” which is a two-part  parody of both Disney’s “Fantasia” and “The Ugly Duckling.”

The second part (the Ugly Duckling parody) is onscreen when Juliet comes into the cell to bring Jack food. It features the story of a family of Swans who is being  systematically picked off by a vulture.  The hero of the tale turns out to be the lonely black duckling who tries to join the family but is rejected. Even the Vulture rejects him when he starts picking off the baby swans one by one to take away for later meals. The baby duck ends up defeating the vulture, saving all of the baby swans. Then the family adopts him and they all live happily ever after.  

Could this mean that one of Lost’s less savory characters, say Sayid or Ben might become the ultimate hero?  Or could this heroic black duck turned swan turn out to be none other than the Man in Black, saving all the Lostaways from the misguided intentions of Jacob?  

Oh, yes… sorry. Moving on to Jack’s Baby Mama.

Episode #53 is also the one in which Kate chooses Sawyer temporarily ending island love triangle. She makes the hot jungle love to him in the Bear cages as Jack watches on a video monitor. Then she’s forced by Others’ guard Pickett, who is beating the crap out of the blonde side of the love triangle, to admit that she loves Sawyer. There is actually a Merrie Melody cartoon called “The Stupid Cupid,” where Daffy Duck is involved in a love triangle between himself, a white chicken and a brown Rooster wherein he sings a song called “Don’t Sweetheart Me.”  In this song is the following verse:  

Don’t sweetheart me if you don’t mean it
Don’t talk sweet words if they’re not true
Don’t tear my heart like it was paper
Because my heart loves only you

You can’t go round sweethearting others
And then pretend that I’m yours exclusively
Love must be true, mean what you’re saying
Unless you do, don’t sweetheart me

Also in episode #53, it is revealed that Sawyer has a daughter named Clementine.  There is an old folk song called “Oh My Darling Clementine” that is sung several times by Bugs Bunny and Co. It that tells the tale of a miner’s daughter who drowned one day when she tripped while taking her ducklings down to the water to swim. The lyrics were written around sometime between 1863 and 1884 but the music is said to be based on a Spanish Tune that Mexican Miners were often humming in the mines during the 1849 gold rush. Interestingly, the first version of the song written in 1863 was written just 4 years before Richard set out on the Black Rock in search of a new life in the New World just like many of the miners who came to the New World seeking new beginnings. (Yeah… that one is a stretch, but still… ) 

Some of the lyrics to the creepy tune:

In a cavern, in a canyon, (kinda like the lost caves, no?)
Excavating for a mine
Dwelt a miner forty niner,
And his daughter Clementine

Light she was and like a fairy,
And her shoes were number nine,
Herring boxes, without topses,
Sandals were for Clementine.

Drove she ducklings to the water
Ev’ry morning just at nine,

Hit her foot against a splinter, (like Sawyer in the jungle?)
Fell into the foaming brine.

Ruby lips above the water,
Blowing bubbles, soft and fine,
But, alas, I was no swimmer,
(Like Charlie?)
So I lost my Clementine.

(with the chorus between each verse)
Oh my darling, oh my darling,
Oh my darling, Clementine!
Thou art lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry, Clementine

Okay, sure… I’m stretching it again but here is where the Clementine thing gets good!
There is an American actress named Clementine Ford who was most notably on The L Word as Molly Krawl.  BUT, her first television appearance was on her mother, Cybill Shepherd’s  show “Cybill” in 1998 where she was credited under the name, “Clementine Shepherd-Ford.”

This has given me an idea about another child on the show… only in the Alt World! I’m talking David, son of Alt Jack. Might the mother of Jack’s son be Cassidy Phillips, the mother of Sawyer’s Clementine?

Alt Jack plus

Alt Cassidy Phillips could equal

Alt David?

And if this is so, does that make the original timeline’s Clementine non-existent?

Oh wait! Before you tell me that it’s impossible because Jack has brown eyes and Cassidy has Hazel eyes and Daniel has blue eyes… Christian also has blue eyes, therefore Jack has a recessive blue gene… and if Cassidy does also, they could bear blue-eyed offspring. And do we really want Juliet to be David’s mother? I know I don’t, as a fan of Suliet.

And there you have it… my latest, insanely drawn, crazy lost theory. Hope you like it. I’d like to give a little shout out to Mandy, who mentioned on John Cabrera’s blog a comment made about Jack in episode #53 that sent me down this Bugs Bunny hole. So, Thanks Mandy! That was fun.